


Foxy Lady

by LilyK



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Gen, transcript
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 16:54:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29388012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyK/pseuds/LilyK
Summary: Starsky and Hutch vie for the affections of a witness to a murder, but the woman in question has other ideas.
Collections: Starsky & Hutch Original Series Transcripts





	Foxy Lady


    FOXY LADY
    
    Season 3, Episode 20
    
    Original Airdate: March 1, 1978
    
    Written by: Robert E. Swanson
    Created by: William Blinn
    Directed by: Nicholas Sgarro
    
    Summary: Starsky and Hutch vie for the affections of a witness to a murder, but the woman in question has other ideas. 
    
    Cast: 
    

David Soul ... Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson

Paul Michael Glaser ... Det. Dave Starsky

Antonio Fargas ... Huggy Bear (credit only)

Bernie Hamilton ... Capt. Harold Dobey

Morgan Woodward ... Clay Zachary

Mark Gordon ... John Carelli

Priscilla Barnes ... Lisa Kendrick

Paul Bryar ... Security Guard

John J. Fox ... Grover

Christopher Lofton ... Kevin Mackey (as Chris Lofton)

Maida Severn ... Maggie

Jamie Tirelli ... Cabbie

Ed Vasgersian ... Mr. Cavanaugh

Darrell Zwerling ... Stu Basset
    
    
    **Exterior - Day - Bus Depot**
    
    CARELLI: He just got off the bus.
    
    ZACHARY: Very good. Very good. You know what to do.
    
    CARELLI: Got you.
    
    CABBIE: Hey, come on! What's the matter with you? What's the--? Oh!
    
    STARSKY: Okay, a guy catches two slugs in broad daylight in front of a small crowd and nobody saw who did it? Come on.
    
    SECURITY GUARD: I was just coming out of the terminal. I saw this guy laying there and that's all I saw.
    
    HUTCH: Starsky.
    
    STARSKY: Mm? Move them back, will you? 
    
    HUTCH: Look what we've got on the victim's body here. Bus ticket, or a stub, from San Francisco and a first-class airline ticket to Algiers.
    
    STARSKY: Algiers? Isn't that the country with no extradition treaty?
    
    HUTCH: Yeah.
    
    BASSET: Yeah, another urban terror in broad daylight and as usual, the police haven't arrived.
    
    STARSKY: Well, if it isn't Brenda Starr. Are you still paying off the ambulance drivers to tip you to the juicy action?
    
    BASSET: I was here to see my kid off to school. But then, it's not unusual for a good reporter to show up before the police arrive these days.
    
    HUTCH: Yeah, well, thanks for stopping by, Brenda.
    
    BASSET: Listen, you guys can't shag me off. Listen, this is a public place. You ever hear of the First Amendment?
    
    STARSKY: Yeah, and nowhere does it say we have to be nice to reporters with bad breath. Mac, take care of him, will you?
    
    HUTCH: You operate this cab?
    
    CABBIE: Yeah.
    
    HUTCH: Were you here when it happened?
    
    CABBIE: Yeah, I practically rear-ended the guy's car.
    
    STARSKY: What car?
    
    CABBIE: Well, I was pulling in to pick up a fare, the dead guy, when this guy pulls over and cuts me off. I tell you, people drive like animals!
    
    HUTCH: Yeah, just tell us what happened, all right?
    
    CABBIE: Well, I was yelling at the driver, and then I saw this other guy get out of the car and grab this guy's suitcase. For a second I thought maybe he was picking him up, you know?  Then I see the guy laying there. And the other guy gets in the car with the suitcase and, ffttt! They take off. 
    
    HUTCH: Can you tell us anything about the car?
    
    CABBIE: Oh, are you kidding? I got his license number. They ought to take away his driver's license. Civilians. (speaks Spanish)
    
    STARSKY: You got any idea what the driver looked like?
    
    CABBIE: I don't know. I was too busy taking down license numbers. Why don't you ask her? It happened right in front of her.
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Squad Room**
    
    KENDRICK: I'm sorry. I just don't recognize anybody.
    
    HUTCH: Look, just take your time. Try to relax.
    
    KENDRICK: Well, it all happened so fast. I was in shock. I--
    
    HUTCH: I understand that. But, please, just try. All right?
    
    KENDRICK: Okay. Uh, may I have a glass of water, please?
    
    HUTCH: Oh, sure. Sure. Um, just keep trying, yeah?
    
    KENDRICK: All right.
    
    HUTCH: I'll be right back.
    
    STARSKY: (on phone) Yeah. Yeah. (end)
    
    DOBEY: All right, run it down to me.
    
    HUTCH: Well, the, uh, license number turned out to be a rented car. Stolen credit card.
    
    DOBEY: Beautiful. What about the lady?
    
    HUTCH: Well, it, uh, happened right in front of her. She's still a little shook up, but she saw it all happen.
    
    DOBEY: Is she all we've got?
    
    HUTCH: Yep.
    
    DOBEY: Well, maybe you better hold her hand for a while. She may give you something solid.
    
    HUTCH: That's the kind of duty I like, captain.
    
    STARSKY: Pay dirt.
    
    HUTCH: What's that?
    
    STARSKY: Spoke to Phil Grogan, San Francisco Homicide.
    
    HUTCH: Yeah?
    
    STARSKY: The victim was one Kevin Mackey. Seems he was a runner for a Bay City mobster by the name of Clay Zachary.
    
    DOBEY: Zachary?
    
    STARSKY: Yeah.
    
    DOBEY: Isn't he suspected of masterminding a $2 million bank job last month?
    
    STARSKY: Yep. Hey, remember what the cabbie said?
    
    HUTCH: About what?
    
    STARSKY: The suitcase.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, yeah. The killer got it.
    
    STARSKY: Right.
    
    HUTCH: Right.
    
    DOBEY: Are you saying Mackey might have had the laundry list?
    
    STARSKY: Well, he wasn't killed for his dirty shirts.
    
    HUTCH: I found a one-way ticket to Algiers in his coat pocket. You don't suppose somebody was trying to rip Zachary off?
    
    DOBEY: I'll buy that. In the meantime, your ticket to the DA's office is that lady over there.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, I'll keep a good eye on her, Captain.
    
    STARSKY: Yeah, and while you watch her, I'll finish questioning her.
    
    HUTCH: Why you?
    
    STARSKY: Well, I can tell just by looking at her that she's a fragile, vulnerable, frightened--
    
    HUTCH: I repeat, why you?
    
    STARSKY: Because women like that react to me. They respond to my masculinity. To my aura. To my charm.
    
    HUTCH: Your cheap aftershave lotion.
    
    GROVER: Hey, Captain, it's already made the late-- Jeez, I'm sorry.
    
    DOBEY: Watch yourself! Made the late editions already. 
    
    GROVER: Gee, I'm sorry, Hutch.
    
    DOBEY: Hey, wait a minute. That's all right. Look at this.
    
    STARSKY: Next time I see that bastard, I'm going to take his camera and stick it
    in the sports section.
    
    DOBEY: Now, we have to play it safe. I want you to take her to an out-of-the-way hotel, someplace that's nice. In the meantime, be sure you keep a low profile on her.
    
    HUTCH: Right.
    
    STARSKY: I'll finish questioning her.
    
    HUTCH: Great. Great. While you're writing the report, I'll take her to the hotel.
    
    STARSKY: That's not necessary. Look, I can take her back to the hotel after I finish questioning her. I don't mind.
    
    HUTCH: I-- I do! Hi. Here.
    
    KENDRICK: Oh, thank you.
    
    
    **Interior - Night - Venice Place**
    
    HUTCH: Lisa! Uh, what are you doing here?
    
    KENDRICK: Do you promise you won't laugh at me?
    
    HUTCH: Oh, me? No. Of course not. Come on in.
    
    KENDRICK: Oh, thank you. 
    
    HUTCH: Uh, why don't I just sort of straighten up the place a bit?
    
    KENDRICK: Well, I was so lonely at the hotel and, uh... Well, maybe it's what happened at the terminal and maybe it's being in a strange town and not knowing anybody, but I just didn't want to be alone.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, I can certainly understand that. Oh, uh...
    
    KENDRICK: Oh.
    
    HUTCH: And I'm glad you came by here and you thought of me.
    
    KENDRICK: Well, I hope you don't get the wrong idea.
    
    HUTCH: Idea?
    
    KENDRICK: I mean, uh... What I meant to say is that, uh, I thought, if it wasn't too much of an inconvenience, maybe I could sleep in your spare room or on the sofa.
    
    HUTCH: Inconvenience? Oh, of course not. Come here.
    
    KENDRICK: Are you absolutely sure?
    
    HUTCH: Absolutely.
    
    KENDRICK: Are you really positive? Because I don't want to put you out.
    
    HUTCH: You can just, uh, sleep on that bed and I'll... sleep here on the couch.
    
    KENDRICK: Oh, I am inconveniencing you!
    
    HUTCH: Oh, no way.
    
    KENDRICK: Listen, I didn't want to--
    
    HUTCH: You're not inconveniencing me at all. Not in the least, really.
    
    KENDRICK: Are you sure?
    
    HUTCH: Absolutely. I want you in my bed. I-- I-- I mean, I'll sleep on the sofa here.
    
    KENDRICK: Listen, this is really crazy. Maybe I shouldn't have come--
    
    HUTCH: Oh, not at all! Look, uh, are you hungry?
    
    KENDRICK: I'm starving.
    
    HUTCH: Yeah, well, I just put a pizza in the oven here. Oh! There must be a bottle of Chianti around here somewhere.
    
    KENDRICK: Oh, that sounds great. You know, but first I'd like to freshen up a little bit, if you don't mind.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, no. Not at all. Uh, it's right there, through that door.
    
    KENDRICK: Oh, okay. Your...
    
    STARSKY: Hutch? Hutch! Oh, am I glad you're still up.
    
    HUTCH: Well, it's a little late, don't you think? I was just about ready to crash.
    
    STARSKY: Yeah, I got to--
    
    HUTCH: It's out of order.
    
    STARSKY: What?
    
    HUTCH: It's broken. Out of water.
    
    STARSKY: Oh...
    
    HUTCH: So, uh, what's up?
    
    STARSKY: Wait a second.
    
    HUTCH: What?
    
    STARSKY: Uh, well, I tried to call Lisa's hotel.
    
    HUTCH: Yeah.
    
    STARSKY: There was no answer. Are you sure? 
    
    HUTCH: Oh, yeah, yeah. I've got a, uh, plumber coming in the morning. So you called Lisa's hotel and she wasn't in, right? Well, she's probably down at the snack bar having a snack.
    
    STARSKY: Kind of late for a snack, isn't it?
    
    HUTCH: I got it! She was probably taking a shower, huh? I tell you what I'm going to do. As soon as you're gone, I'll just give her a call back at the hotel and if she's not in, well, I'll give you a call at home then.
    
    STARSKY: Now that you mention it, maybe it's not too late for a snack. Is that pizza I smell, huh? Oh! A-ha! You ought to be arrested for doing that to a pizza.
    
    HUTCH: You can get your own pizza on the way home. 
    
    KENDRICK: Do you have any extra--? Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were here. Uh, excuse me.
    
    STARSKY: Some buddy. Trust him with your life and look what he tries to do. 
    
    HUTCH: Now, look! Starsky, it's not at all like it looks.
    
    STARSKY: Yeah?
    
    HUTCH: No. No. She came to the front door in this nervous state, see, and I told her that she could sleep in my bed. Well, I was going to sleep on the sofa. 
    
    STARSKY: It doesn't work, huh? "She was probably in the shower when you called, Starsky." Huh? You didn't tell me which shower. You weren't even gonna tell me about her.
    
    HUTCH: I was going to tell you, I just didn't want you to get the wrong picture.
    
    STARSKY: Oh, I got the picture all right.
    
    KENDRICK: I think you both have the wrong picture! I can imagine what you must think of me. 
    
    HUTCH: Now look what you've done. You're trying to make something sordid out of this. It was a perfectly generous gift of human compassion and kindness.
    
    STARSKY: I'm sorry.
    
    KENDRICK: I feel foolish of being alone. Excuse me. I'm going back to the hotel.
    
    STARSKY: No, Lisa, you're already here. Look, we can order out for pizza. Besides, I happen to know that there is a great movie on the late show tonight. Come on.
    
    HUTCH: You're making a big deal out of nothing.
    
    STARSKY: The three of us can watch it. Come on.
    
    KENDRICK: That's right. 
    
    HUTCH: Okay? Lisa? you know you're perfectly welcome to stay here. I tell you, I'm beat. I've had a rough day. I'm gonna grab myself a shower. So whatever you decide is perfectly okay by me. Huh? Sit down, relax. I'll be about 10 minutes.
    
    STARSKY: Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, uh--
    
    KENDRICK: I can imagine what you must think. I mean, it must look like, uh...
    
    STARSKY: You mean, uh, it wasn't really, um--?
    
    KENDRICK: No. It never entered my mind. I mean, I guess I just wanted somebody big and strong around so I could sleep. 
    
    STARSKY: Well, you know, actually, Hutch might not be the right person to, uh... To look for for protection.
    
    KENDRICK: I might not?
    
    STARSKY: No. You see, he sleeps like a rock. You could chop down the door and he wouldn't even wake up. And he snores.
    
    KENDRICK: Snores?
    
    STARSKY: Yeah. Snores. Yeah. Neighbors are complaining all the time. You wouldn't catch a wink.
    
    KENDRICK: Well, I, uh-- I feel like such a fool.
    
    STARSKY: Oh, no, no, no. Look, the Galloping Gourmet has already made a mess of the pizza. Why don't the two of us grab a bite to eat on the way back to your hotel. I happen to know this great shish kebab place nearby. And they give free palm readings.
    
    KENDRICK: You mean right now?
    
    STARSKY: Yeah. Oh, you heard what he said. He's very tired. He's trying to be nice about it, but sleeping on that sofa is murder on his bad back.
    
    KENDRICK: Well, I guess so, but, uh, shouldn't we at least say goodnight?
    
    STARSKY: Oh, no, no. He'd only insist that we stay, out of sheer politeness.
    
    KENDRICK: Oh, okay.
    
    
    **Interior - Night - Starsky's Apartment**
    
    KENDRICK: That was the best shish kebab I ever tasted.
    
    STARSKY: How did you like that palm reader telling you to beware of strange hotels?
    
    KENDRICK: Oh, that awful place. I'm so glad you talked me out of staying there. Are you sure you don't mind sleeping on the sofa?
    
    STARSKY: No. You can come in and tuck me in later. How would you like a nightcap right now?
    
    KENDRICK: Mm-hm.
    
    STARSKY: I can dig up a bottle of Chianti somewhere.
    
    KENDRICK: That sounds heavenly. But first I'd like to, uh, powder my nose.
    
    STARSKY: Your nose?
    
    KENDRICK: Mmm.
    
    STARSKY: Oh.
    
    KENDRICK: Oh, uh, do you mind if I use your shower?
    
    STARSKY: Be my guest.
    
    KENDRICK: Thank you. )on phone) Mr. Springer? You don't have to know my name. Only Kevin Mackey's. I want the same deal you offered Mackey. Twenty-five cents on the dollar. I have half of it. One million dollars. And the best bodyguard money can buy. Right. (end) 
    
    
    **Exterior - Day - Venice Place**
    
    CARELLI: Well, I'm sorry you had to fly all the way down here, Mr. Zachary, but how was I supposed to know that Mackey was traveling with his old lady?
    
    ZACHARY: Because that's what I pay you for, Mr. Carelli. Due to your oversight, I only have half my cash. His "old lady," as you call her, is running around with the other half. What I don't understand is why she's stepping forward as a witness.
    
    CARELLI: Hey, if she's a witness, then the cops must have her stashed somewhere.
    
    ZACHARY: Quick thinking, Carelli. And there is the cop that's gonna show us where.
    
    CARELLI: Hey, that's like a beacon in the night.
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Starsky's Apartment**
    
    HUTCH: Rise and shine, Lochinvar! You missed reveille. That was a real class act you pulled last night.
    
    STARSKY: Shhhh! Shhh! Shhh! I figured it made us even.
    
    HUTCH: Hmph. Well, I see you did just about as well as I did, huh?
    
    STARSKY: Hey, you can't read my mail!
    
    HUTCH: Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! "Ken"? "Ken." "I couldn't sleep so I went back to the hotel. Lisa." Well, lover boy, you must have made some impression on her. She didn't even get your name right.
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Hotel Carmel**
    
    KENDRICK: Why, good morning!
    
    STARSKY: If you say so.
    
    HUTCH: Uh, you sleep well?
    
    KENDRICK: Very well, thank you. Well, anybody for breakfast?
    
    STARSKY: Well, some coffee might help.
    
    HUTCH: Why not? Coffee shop?
    
    KENDRICK: Oh, that sounds terrific. Let's go. Thank you.
    
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Coffee Shop**
    
    STARSKY: Well, I guess your jitters have subsided, huh?
    
    KENDRICK: Oh, I feel fine now, thank you.
    
    STARSKY: Good.
    
    KENDRICK: I guess I was just, um, afraid of the dark.
    
    HUTCH: Mm. Oh, would you care for my toast?
    
    STARSKY: Thank you.
    
    HUTCH: Waste not, want not.
    
    KENDRICK: I think I'm a little bit chilly. I think I'll go back up and get a sweater.
    
    HUTCH: Oh!
    
    KENDRICK: Okay? Will you excuse me?
    
    HUTCH: Sure.
    
    KENDRICK: Sorry.
    
    STARSKY: Uh, you forgot the check.
    
    HUTCH: No, I didn't. You got it. Just get a receipt, huh?
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Hotel Room**
    
    KENDRICK: It won't open.
    
    STARSKY: It's locked from the inside.
    
    HUTCH: Stand Back. 
    
    STARSKY: Go. Police! Stop!
    
    
    **Exterior - Day - Hotel Carmel**
    
    STARSKY: Ow!
    
    HUTCH: The garbage can's not your enemy.
    
    STARSKY: It is now. What do they leave these things here for?
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Squad Room**
    
    HUTCH: Would you like some cream and sugar?
    
    KENDRICK: Oh, no. Black's fine, thanks.
    
    DOBEY: Hutchinson.
    
    HUTCH: Excuse me.
    
    DOBEY: This just arrived from San Francisco. Some of Zachary's known associates.
    
    STARSKY: What's this? That's the guy on the fire escape.
    
    HUTCH: Carelli?
    
    STARSKY: Yeah.
    
    DOBEY: Warm your coffee for you?
    
    KENDRICK: No, it's fine. Thanks.
    
    STARSKY: Are you getting the feeling that this is starting to smell kind of fishy?
    
    HUTCH: Like a three-week-old carp.
    
    STARSKY: These guys find the hotel where she's staying--
    
    HUTCH: And shred her room.
    
    STARSKY: How much do you figure $2 million is?
    
    HUTCH: It's a lot of money.
    
    STARSKY: I mean in bulk.
    
    HUTCH: Well, that depends on the denominations, dummy. I mean--
     
    STARSKY: Yeah. 0on phone) Yeah, I want a direct line to the San Francisco Police Department. I want to speak to a Phil Grogan. (pause) 
    
    KENDRICK: No, I believe I told them everything I know. I wish I could do more, though.
    
    HUTCH: (on phone) Yeah, give me reservations. (pause)
    
    STARSKY: (on phone) Phil, Starsky. About that bank haul. You got the serial numbers, right? How much space would 2 million bucks take up? (pause)
    
    HUTCH: (on phone) Uh, do you have a passenger there listed or ticketed to Algeria by the name of Lisa Kendrick? K-E-N-D-R-I-C-K. (pause)
    
    STARSKY: (on phone) Look, you got anything new on this Mackey guy? (pause)
    
    HUTCH: (on phone) I'll hold. (pause) 
    
    STARSKY: (on phone) He did? You got a name? (pause)
    
    HUTCH: (on phone) Yeah. Right. Ticket's still open? (pause) 
    
    STARSKY: (on phone) Yeah. Thanks. (end)
    
    HUTCH: (on phone) Thanks a lot. )end_
    
    STARSKY: Well, according to Phil, the bank haul would take up more than one suitcase, and Kevin Mackey had himself a roommate.
    
    HUTCH: Lisa Kendrick, who also has an open ticket to Algiers.
    
    KENDRICK: Thank you very much.
    
    HUTCH: Look at her. Like the face of an angel. Heart of a con.
    
    STARSKY: Do you recognize any of these people?
    
    KENDRICK: Yeah. That's him! Him.
    
    HUTCH: We know.
    
    STARSKY: We also know that you're friends with Kevin Mackey.
    
    HUTCH: And that you were carrying around that suitcase. How much money did you have in that thing?
    
    KENDRICK: I don't know. I mean, when I found it, I was too shook up to even count it.
    
    HUTCH: When you found it?
    
    KENDRICK: When I opened up my suitcase. You don't think I knew that the money was in there, do you?
    
    STARSKY: Come on. You were a little more than pen pals with Mackey.
    
    HUTCH: And you had a mutual interest in travel. North Africa.
    
    KENDRICK: That's exactly why I couldn't tell you guys the truth. I knew you'd never believe me.
    
    HUTCH: Try us.
    
    KENDRICK: Kevin Mackey and I were living together. I mean, he was a very exciting guy. And all of a sudden, one day, he came to me and said, "How would you like to go to Algiers?" He said he'd earned some big kind of bonus.
    
    STARSKY: And you had no idea where that came from?
    
    KENDRICK: Well, no! And then he was killed and then I opened the suitcase and I found the money. He must have put it in there after I finished packing.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, uh... Why wouldn't you have told us that before?
    
    KENDRICK: Well, it's pretty obvious, isn't it? You were just policemen to me and I... I mean, I had the money and I knew it looked bad and I didn't want to get into any kind of trouble.
    
    STARSKY: Where's the money now?
    
    KENDRICK: Those men must have found it at the hotel.
    
    HUTCH: Uh, lady, they weren't carrying satchels.
    
    KENDRICK: I don't know! There wasn't that much money. Maybe-- Maybe they had it in their pockets.
    
    HUTCH: Mm-hm.
    
    STARSKY: Hey, Grover.
    
    GROVER: Huh?
    
    STARSKY: Come here.
    
    HUTCH: You believe that?
    
    STARSKY: I don't want to, but--
    
    HUTCH: Me neither.
    
    GROVER: What do you need?
    
    HUTCH: Check the lady out down at the end of the table. Keep an eye on her, will you?
    
    GROVER: Now, that's the kind of assignment I really enjoy.
    
    HUTCH: Yeah.
    
    STARSKY: We'll be right back. Don't go away.
    
    KENDRICK: I've got nowhere to go. Excuse me. Could you tell me where I could powder my nose?
    
    GROVERY: Ah, yeah. Come on. I'll show you.
    
    KENDRICK: Thank you.
    
    GROVER: Right out that door there. Here.
    
    KENDRICK: Thank you very much.
    
    GROVER: That door right there on the right.
    
    KENDRICK: Thank you.
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Dobey's Office**
    
    DOBEY: It's just possible she might be telling the truth. Maybe not. But possible.
    
    STARSKY: Come on, Captain. Don't tell me she got to you, too?
    
    HUTCH: More than likely she was in on it from square one.
    
    DOBEY: I know a lady when I see one. You might be right. But you're gonna need a lot more evidence than you guys have here.
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Squad Room**
    
    HUTCH: Grover, I don't believe you let her walk out of here.
    
    GROVER: I never thought she'd pull a stunt like that. Besides, she seemed like such a nice girl.
    
    MAGGIE: You can say that again.
    
    STARSKY: Maggie, you ought to be ashamed of yourself.
    
    DOBEY: What did you think, Maggie, when she asked you to change clothes?
    
    MAGGIE: When somebody offers me a hundred bucks for two dirty shirts and a pair of jeans, I just put a smile on my face and the cash in my pocket.
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Warehouse**
    
    ZACHARY: I don't know what kind of game you're playing. But you've lost.
    
    KENDRICK: Kevin Mackey was no knight in shining armor, granted. But I never dreamed he'd be dumb enough to do something like this. Anyway, when he got killed at the terminal, the heat was all over me like a bad smell. I was a witness. And then I found the money in my suitcase where Kevin had put it. Well, I knew he'd done something dumb, and that the money belonged to someone, and I knew that they'd come looking for it. And then when I saw my picture in the newspaper, I knew that sooner or later you'd contact me.
    
    ZACHARY: Uh-huh. And, uh, you were just going to give us a suitcase full of money? Is that correct?
    
    KENDRICK: Well, of course. I thought that you'd be grateful. And then maybe there'd be something in it for me. So that's why I told the cops I couldn't identify the killer. So you're in the clear.
    
    ZACNARY: Well, uh, we're very grateful, you understand, but there was no money in the hotel room. Where is it?
    
    KENDRICK: Cops have it.
    
    CARELLI: I knew it. I told you we should have snuffed her. She's a witness.
    
    KENDRICK: Wait a minute. They don't know they've got it.
    
    ZACHARY: The cops have the money but they don't know it?
    
    KENDRICK: Look, I'm not dumb. I knew I couldn't carry a million dollars around in my suitcase, so I went to visit one of the romantic cops in his apartment, and I stashed it there.
    
    ZACHARY: I don't believe this. 
    
    CARELLI: If you're lying, it will be the biggest mistake you've ever made.
    
    KENDRICK: Look, I want to work with you. All I want is a few grand to get out of this town.
    
    ZACHARY: Which one of them has it?
    
    KENDRICK: Hutchinson.
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Venice Place**
    
    ZACHARY: She did say the closet, didn't she?
    
    CARELLI: Yeah, I already checked that closet. I'm telling you, that chick lied to us!
    
    ZACHARY: Yeah. Unless he already found it.
    
    HUTCH: The carrots.
    
    ZACHARY: Tie him up... if you think you can handle that by yourself.
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Warehouse**
    
    KENDRICK: Well, did you get the money?
    
    ZACHARY: No. And we're not gonna play hide-and-go-seek any longer.
    
    CARELLI: Look, we did everything but tear up the floorboards. There's no money.
    
    KENDRICK: Ahh!
    
    CARELLI: Ooh, let me just work on her for a little bit. In 10 minutes I'll have her begging to tell us where that money is.
    
    KENDRICK: Listen, it was at his place. Maybe Hutchinson found it. Maybe he turned it in.
    
    ZACHARY: You don't really believe that, do you?
    
    KENDRICK: It's the truth!
    
    ZACHARY: I'm going to call your bluff. Somebody has that money. Don't they?
    
    CARELLI: Okay, cowboy. Now, this little lady says the money was at your place. It ain't. What do you say?
    
    HUTCH: She told you it was my place, huh? Thank you very much.
    
    KENDRICK: Where did you get him?
    
    ZACHARY: Well, he walked in while we were playing hide-and-go-seek.
    
    KENDRICK: Not him. I told you. The other one. Hutchinson.
    
    HUTCH: Uh, no, no. I'm Hutchinson.
    
    KENDRICK: Oh, I'm sorry. I never could get their names straight. Um, it's at the other one's place. Uh... 
    
    HUTCH: Starsky.
    
    KENDRICK: Starsky, yeah. Right. I spent the night there.
    
    ZACHARY: Carelli.
    
    CARELLI: What do you think, Mr. Zachary?
    
    ZACHARY: I think that little- lady is as slick as a greased eel. I think she was in with Mackey all along.
    
    HUTCH: You're a dangerous lady.
    
    KENDRICK: Oh, Dave, I'm so sorry. I feel so badly--
    
    HUTCH: Ken. Ken.
    
    KENDRICK: Well-- 
    
    HUTCH: Ken.
    
    KENDRICK: I was hoping that you'd get them and learn that they were holding me. I was-- I was just playing for time.
    
    HUTCH: What did you do with the money?
    
    CARELLI: Where do you suppose the money is?
    
    ZACHARY: Probably right where she says it is.
    
    KENDRICK: I did hide it at Dave's place while he was asleep. You see-- Well, I was confused and I was so scared, and I didn't want to keep it. I figured that what I'd do is I'd go out of town, then call you and tell you where it was.
    
    CARELLI: Oh, I don't like it, Mr. Zachary. We grab a girl. Now we've got a cop on our hands. I don't want to go after another cop--
    
    ZACHARY: No, no, no, no, no. We don't have to do that. We use the telephone.
    
    CARELLI: What are we going to do with those two?
    
    ZACHARY: Once we get the money, we don't need them anymore. I'm going to give you one last chance.
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Squad Room**
    
    STARSKY: Well, we got an APB out. We got all terminals covered. What else can I tell you?
    
    DOBEY: That you've found the lady and she's gonna testify. And where's Hutchinson?
    
    STARSKY: I don't know. (on phone) Starsky here.
    
    ZACHARY: I'm going to make this brief. I've got the girl. I've got your partner.
    
    STARSKY: Wait a second. Who is this?
    
    ZACHARY: Don't stall for a trace. We want that money.
    
    STARSKY: What money? We don't have any money.
    
    ZACHARY: The girl says she hid it in your apartment. (pause) Where did you put it?
    
    KENDRICK: I told you. In the laundry bag. 
    
    ZACHARY: (on phone) The laundry bag. Look in your laundry bag. Just get the money. I'll call you back in an hour with instructions.
    
    STARSKY: Look, I don't care about the money, but we ain't going to trade for any corpses. You want that money, you'd better have two healthy bodies to trade, do you hear me?
    
    ZACHARY: I hear you. Now you hear me. If you've got any idea of setting us up at the drop, you'd better buy two coffins.
    
    STARSKY: Let me ask-- (end) 
    
    GROVER: No luck.
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Dobey's Office**
    
    DOBEY: Starsky, you're crazy! I can't allow you to go out there alone without backup.
    
    STARSKY: They got Hutch and the girl. At the first sniff of trouble, they're gonna blow them away!
    
    DOBEY: As soon as you hand the satchel over, they're gonna kill you! Nope, I can't allow it.
    
    STARSKY: Look, Captain, they're very smart. The way they've got this thing set up, there's no way you can cover me without tipping them off. Now, I'm going in there whether you approve it or not.
    
    DOBEY: The hell you are! At least you're gonna wear a wire. This way, um, we may not be there to hold your hand, but we can come in and clean up the mess. Raise your shirt.
    
    STARSKY: What?
    
    DOBEY: Raise your shirt!
    
    STARSKY: Um... I was thinking you could put it on the inside--
    
    DOBEY: Would you raise your shirt? Here. Hold that.
    
    STARSKY: Your hands are colder than a dead trout's.
    
    
    **Exterior - Day - In the Torino**
    
    STARSKY: (on radio) Turning right on 11th. On the left, we have the historic Jiffy Car Wash.  Sorry, folks. No homes of the stars on the tour today. (pause)
    
    GROVER: Where's the other units?
    
    DOBEY: They're all over the area, fanned out. Look, I want to stay off those radio communications as much as possible. We'll use it only for emergency. They may be tuned in on a police band.
    
    GROVER: What's that?
    
    STARSKY: (on radio) Oh, this tape really itches. I just had a terrible thought, folks. This thing's really gonna smart when I pull it off. Turning left on Broadway. Checkpoint. I'm stopped. Hold back. (pause)
    
    DOBEY: You'd better pull over there. We don't want to get too close.
    
    GROVER: Okay.
    
    STARSKY: (on radio) Let's wait a minute. Make sure I'm not being followed. Contact.
    
    
    **Exterior - Day - Phone Booth**
    
    ZACHARY: (on phone) You have the money?
    
    STARSKY: I got the money. If you want it, you're gonna have to turn over Hutch and Lisa...alive.
    
    ZACHARY: Just relax. That's exactly the way it will be. But you and I have a little private business to take care of first. Get rid of the wire.
    
    STARSKY: What wire?
    
    ZACHARY: I'm not stupid, Starsky. You're not going to be out here alone without a wire. And by the way, I'm watching you right now. So if you'd like to step out of that phone booth, take your clothes off and prove to me you're not wired, I'm all eyes. (end) 
    
    STARSKY: (on radio) This concludes the conducted portion of this broadcast. (end) Oooh!
    
    DOBEY: Well... so much for the wire. He's all by his lonely now.
    
    STARSKY: (on phone) Where do you want to meet?
    
    ZACHARY: I've arranged transportation for you. Right directly across the street from you is a green sedan. The keys are in it. Get the money, get in it, and go.
    
    STARSKY: And go where?
    
    ZACHARY: From where you are now, go north straight, 22 miles till you come to a deserted gas station. Go two miles to the first dirt road on your right, follow that road until you see me. I'm taking a shortcut. I'll be waiting for you.
    
    STARSKY: I'll bet. Look, Zachary, I want Hutch and the girl turned loose before I turn over the money. Understand?
    
    ZACHARY: Don't worry. It will be like a family reunion. (end) 
    
    
    **Exterior - Day - Dobey's Car**
    
    GROVER: Why doesn't he use the car radio?
    
    DOBEY: Just drive the car, Grover.
    
    DOBEY: Well, he's really on his own now. Let's go.
    
    
    **Exterior - Day - Deserted Airfield**
    
    ZACHARY: See? They're both perfectly healthy. May I have the money, please?
    
    STARSKY: Turn them loose.
    
    ZACHARY: After I see the money.
    
    STARSKY: Okay. I'll bring it over.
    
    ZACHARY: No, no. You stay there. Carelli.
    
    CARELLI: May I just take that off you?
    
    STARSKY: All right.
    
    CARELLI: Where's the key?
    
    STARSKY: Well, I don't got it. They're Hutch's cuffs. He's got the key. A little insurance. No Hutch, no money.
    
    CARELLI: He's locked himself to the money. The other one has the key.
    
    ZACHARY: What are you trying to pull?
    
    STARSKY: A little protection. Nobody gets the money until I get Hutch and Lisa. Hiya. How are you doing?
    
    HUTCH: Got an aspirin?
    
    ZACHARY: Come on, come on. Where's the key?
    
    HUTCH: Well, if you untie me, I can find it for you in a second. In my left coat pocket.
    
    STARSKY: It was fun having you as a house guest. Next time, don't leave such a big tip for the maid.
    
    KENDRICK: Look, Mr. Zachary, you got the money. I helped you get it. So just give me 10,000. I'll go to North Africa and forget the whole thing. Believe me.
    
    ZACHARY: I knew you'd have the bottom line figured out.
    
    CARELLI: Ow!
    
    KENDRICK: Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
    
    STARSKY: Bet you were really worried, huh?
    
    HUTCH: What are you talking about? I just saved your life. Here. Untie me, will you? Hey! Hey! Just untie me, will you? At least she doesn't have the money.
    
    STARSKY: Neither do we.
    
    HUTCH: What? What's in the suitcase?
    
    STARSKY: My dirty laundry.
    
    HUTCH: Can you untie me?
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Bay City Airport**
    
    PA ANNOUNCEMENT: Flight 505 to New York, Lisbon and Algiers will be boarding in five minutes at Gate 13.
    
    HUTCH: Hi.
    
    STARSKY: Ciao.
    
    KENDRICK: Dave, Ken, what a nice surprise.
    
    STARSKY: Yeah, ain't it?
    
    HUTCH: Nice try, kid. Let's take a look at this suitcase, huh?
    
    KENDRICK: Do you think I'd leave the country with stolen evidence? That's illegal.
    
    HUTCH: Right.
    
    KENDRICK: Do you think I'd do something like that? Don't you believe me?
    
    CAVANAUGH: Miss Kendrick. Looks like I got here just in time.
    
    KENDRICK: Oh, Mr. Cavanaugh. 
    
    CAVANAUGH: Your check. Courtesy of Pacific Insurance Company. Fifty thousand dollars.
    
    KENDRICK: Thank you. Thank you, Mr. Cavanaugh.
    
    CAVANAUGH: Bon voyage!
    
    KENDRICK: I'm sorry I didn't have time to tell you, but I contacted the bank's insurance company, and they were offering five percent reward for the stolen money.
    
    HUTCH: Cute.
    
    STARSKY: Where did you hide it?
    
    KENDRICK: Now, you wouldn't want me to tell all a girl's secrets, now, would you?
    
    PA ANNOUNCEMENT: This is the final boarding call for flight 505 to New York, Lisbon and Algiers. All passengers...
    
    KENDRICK: Oh! There's my plane. I have got to go. I will, uh, see you at the trial. I guess I can afford new ones now. Bye-bye.
    
    END
    


End file.
